After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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