I feel great
I just peed on a car
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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