you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
