Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
