Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize