i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
