she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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