So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
