Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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