Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
