The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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