i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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