She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
