I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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