somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize