Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
