so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
