My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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