she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
