Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize