arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
