he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
