Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
