You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
