I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize