i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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