walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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