belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
