just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
