HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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