This is not my ceiling
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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