Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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