the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
