These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
