6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
