she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize