What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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