in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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