bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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