the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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