I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i was born a porn star she said
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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