Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
