Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
