i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
