We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
