Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize