the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
