she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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