Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
