remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize