Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
