i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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