? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
