Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize