OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
