what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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