i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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