WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
did i just pee glitter
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
