so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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