we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
