i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
